If All The World Were Paper

If all the world were paper,

And all the sea were ink,

If all the trees were bread and cheese,

What should we have to drink?

It's enough to make a man like me

Scratch his head and think.

If 'ifs' and 'ands' were pots and pans

There'd be no work for tinkers.

If herrings grew on a blackberry bush,

Then we should be drinkers.

If all the seas were one sea,

What a great sea that would be!

If all the trees were one tree,

What a great tree that would be!

And if all the axes were one axe,

What a great axe that would be!

And if all the men were one man,

What a great man that would be!

And if the great man took the great axe,

And cut down the great tree,

And let it fall into the great sea,

What a splish-splash that would be.