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If ( after If I Were King)

I often wish that I were rich,

Then life would go without a hitch.

If only I were that Bill Gates,

I'd talk with kings and be their mates.

If I were Cameron Mackintosh,

My plays would make huge piles of dosh.

Just think, if I were Melvyn Bragg,

My face would be in every mag.

If I were Mr Richard Branson,

Without the beard, I'd be quite handsome.

I bet if I were John Paul Getty,

I'd dish out money like confetti.

If I were Sultan of Brunei,

I'd sell my place and buy Versailles.

The trouble is, there's just one hitch:

I'm poor as hell, and life's a bitch.

Christopher Matthew